Mud
Mud that you can’t get around,
It’s slopping,
It’s there,
To pass, you must go through it,
Though it, you must go,
So you stop first, and look at it,
But you can’t tell how deep it is.
So you step through it,
And test your luck,
And,
And…
And your luck is rotten,
You fall straight through.
Because as it turns out,
The mud is deep and endless,
Cold and brown,
And you think you can’t crawl up and try again,
But, indeed, you do, and you try it again,
Because you realize that otherwise, you’ll never succeed.
But, sadly, you know that after more hard steps,
You’ll be back again,
Trying again,
Working hard again,
Crawling like a baby again.
But maybe you don't fall through,
Instead you succeed!
And the joy, passion, and accomplishment
That runs through your body,
Is never-ending.
Daniel Baum
9 comments:
i really like your poem. it is the same so you kept talking about you experiance and not others so i like how you did that. great poem.
mac wilder
Wow cool I can really picture mud and the struggles of it
And test your luck,
And,
And…
And your luck is rotten
or
And test your luck,
but your luck is rotten
also
You’ll be back again,
Trying again,
Working hard again,
Crawling like a baby again.
or
You’ll be back again,
Trying again,
Working hard again,
Failing again. or possibly finaly succeding
Austin, thank you. I think I will keep my first part, but I will add a line or two at the end, because I like your idea.
Thanks,
Baum
i really don't uderstand your poem. it has some good material in it but i really can't understand it
like when it says Because as it turns out,
The mud is deep and endless,
Cold and brown,
And you think you can’t crawl up and try again,
But, indeed, you do, and you try it again,
Because you realize that otherwise, you’ll never succeed. i don't get it sorry but good writing skills just its just to hard for me to understand it.
Dear Yanofsky,
I'm sorry you don't understand my poem. You can get something out of it if you try.
Daniel Baum
BALMER,
great peom really enjoyed reading it!
i have a questin what is the point iw what of the lines you say and, and..." i just dont really understand the pint of that. very descriptve.
not that many air words such as " the mud is deep and endless" IS being the key word
great work..
page
poems are good but in the pooem mud poem you used but, and, and the a lot so you might want to change that cause in poems you do not use those particular words otherwise there are air words and you don't need them. Also in line five you made a grammar mistake you said"though it, you must go " instead of through it but I like your descriptive words though it makes you feel like you are in the mud its a gross feeling but this poem is probably the best i have read.
LUKE
yanofsky how do you not get it its prety easy to comphrend
luke
Thank you Luke and Page. I will use that.
Daniel Baum.
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